what would the Best Aunt Ever do?

Chris finally figured out why I have been doing the VIB and ReVIB Projects:  to make other aunts everywhere deeply aware of their inadequacies.  (It has absolutely nothing to do with my own inadequacies, I assure you!  Ab-so-lute-ly nothing!)

In the spirit of avauntular competition (there's no aunt equivalent for the word 'avuncular' - so I had to make it up), I propose a contest.

Try to make me feel like I am not doing enough as an aunt.  What would the Best Aunt Ever do??  Would she knit 320 items for a newborn, instead of a measly 32?  Would she quit her job and become a full-time diaper changer until the nephliece reaches toilet training?  Would she even go so far as to become a surrogate mother, bearing a nephliece for a sister or sister-in-law unable to do so herself? 

What do you have to do to be the Best Aunt Ever? 

I am looking for the ridiculous, the absurd, the extreme heights of avauntular self-sacrifice.  (Why should mothers be expected to go to extremes of self-sacrifice, while mere aunts are off the hook?)  Let's raise the bar.  Let's create a Cult of Perfect Aunthood.  Are there literary examples of Extreme Aunting?  Do you have personal experience with Best Auntly Practices?  Have you ever fantasized about what your Dream Aunt would knit for you?

Here are the details:

• submit as many entries as you like by posting a comment or sending me an email
• all entries due by midnight, May 1, mountain time
• winner(s) will be selected based on my arbitrary whims
• prize(s) will include fiberly goodness for the knitting inclined, perhaps a puking animal creamer or two, and maybe some other yummy treats [I'll make final selections to try to tailor gifts to the winner(s) - so I won't get too specific in advance - but the prizes will be good!]

Let the games begin!

ETA:  Some of my crazy vocabulary (like nephliece) is clarified in this post.

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Annoying Vocabulary Aside:

While looking for an auntly equivalent of avuncular (uncle-like), I found the following in an online thesaurus:

"Uncle" is synonymous with things like "person who recommends, teaches, or otherwise helps," whereas "aunt" has one synonym:  "object of ridicule."

Fortunately, "uncle" is also synonymous with giving in, giving up, surrendering, being weak, etc. (as in saying uncle).  But doesn't this kind of thing just make you want to spit?

Comments

[Sarah]

The Best Aunt ever would have started several years before the VIB was even thought of, carefully spinning the yarn for each and every handknit baby project. Just sayin'.

[Jamie]

As I failed to knit anything for VIB, and am not likely to knit anything for Re-VIB, you at least have a co-aunt that you can't help but look better next to!

[eliza]

I'm keeping my awesome aunt expectations low - I made a quilt, sweater and hat for VIB. When Re-VIBs 1-3 (EM really wants 4 kids before she's 35!) come along, I won't have too many items to make.

[Jamie]

After some thought and discussion, I believe that the KP would be a truly Good Aunt if she made bobbly bloomers for herself, her co-aunt, and the VIB/ReVIB's mom.

This has created a really weird image that I can not get out of my head...

[Chris]

I'm still thinkin'...

[Anne]

And then there's the old expression "My sainted aunt!"

The best aunt ever? Really? Would probably buy the nephliece its first contraceptives.

[Wanda]

Best Aunt Ever - knit not only for the ReVIB, but additional equal number of items for the VIB, who now becomes the older brother.

Additionally, the Best Aunt Ever would move to where ever the nephliece may be born, moving there to take care of the child at all hours, as a second mother.

[lisa]

Along Sarah's lines... the Best Aunt Ever would have bought a little farmlet to raise her own sheep, goats, and alpacas to get the fiber to spin to make the knitted items... How about the Best Aunt Ever would get several kayaks for the niece, starting with a tandem where she could ride with auntie, then her own little boat, then a bigger one. And the Best Aunt Ever would take the niece paddling, and they would know all the plants and animals and they would go fishing and camping. And the Best Aunt Ever would teach the niece to make her own fire and set up her own tent and to read the stars and to use a compass so she wouldn't ever get lost. And the Best Aunt Ever would use metaphor to keep the niece from being lost in life. And the Best Aunt Ever would teach her niece that being unique is a wonderful thing. And the Best Aunt Ever would help her niece be a self-confident young person happy with her own beautiful self.

[lisa]

Oh, and the Best Aunt Ever would teach the niece how to use makeup should she so desire, so the niece would not look like a cheap little tramp. And the Best Aunt Ever would let the niece know what cheap means and the results of looking so.

[olga]

Well, the best aunt evah would breast feed the little tyke so the mom could avoid that dreaded sore nipples! Yeah, and also get up at 2AM to take care of baby......And let the kid move in and live with her when she turns 13 till she is 20 so mom could bypass the 'teen years'.

[Tanya]

If it were to involve knitting you should be shearing those soft baby alpaca as you read this, cleaning, dying spinning and knitting up next years wardrobe...so your a bit behind! A perfect aunt in an unreal world would already have the eprfect gifts arapped and in the closet before the dear one even knew her hearts desire for such materialistic object. The house would always be stocked with the most unique and fabulous snacks and treats, all on her mommy's do not touch eat list!
In reality the perfect aunt would take a day a month to spoil the heck out of the niece with a fun, unique outing of just the two of them, exposing her to experiences she may not encounter with the folks, of course these should be relatively safe and fall within the pg-13 category or less!
My aunts....one was all about the horses while the other was drawing, the creek and playdoh!

[Anne B.]

I think you need to write a novel that puts down on paper the entire history of your niece/nephew on both sides, back six generations. For each member of the family an exciting life history, including which life lessons the little one should learn from their ancestors experience. Also, a knitted outfit from each era would be a lovely compliment to the book. I think I'm just going to settle for skating with my nieces!

[5elementknitr]

OK, when my first was a tiny newboy, I got talked in to a Bunko outing with my mom's group. There were other women there that weren't in my group, including two sisters who had babies at about the same time.

They used to nurse each other's baby! That's taking Auntdom a bit far but it's a true story. One would take a mommy day off and the other would watch the two babies and feed them both - strictly from tap, no baby formula involved.

The subject came up when I'd gone to the bathroom and T started fussing because he was hungry and they were joking about nursing my kid!

Wierd!

[Denise]

I know there is an extreme auntie out there that takes her neice out shopping daily and gets her anything she wants.. that there is extreme.

The best aunt in the world would not snore.. I know that..heheh

The best aunty... simply this.. be there. Be there when they need you, love them without condition, and simply be there.. that means more than anything else you could do or make or give.

[JayJay]

I'm going to nominate my aunt, who also happens to be my Godmother. She works at a factory that makes knobs for appliances (e.gl, washers, dryers, ovens). She would make me gifts using reject knobs. The factory made ones of all shapes and sizes, so she had a lot to work with. Once she made me entire a miniature house (similar in style to a gingerbread house) all from knobs. I would totally win if could have found a photo.

[Laura]

The best auntie I know did, indeed, serve as a surrogate for her sister's triplets. She is the receptionist at my dentist's office. I mean, triplets?! THAT is above and beyond.

As an auntie myself, the best I've been able to do is offer a city house for my country mouse nieces. They get to visit myself and Uncle Charles to learn about exciting city habits like sidewalks and jaywalking - not to mention exploring the joys of parallel parking and walking to the store. Hey, we do the best with what we're given. Oh, and I also have two brothers who are fantastic uncles, so I also offer some good uncle-torture opportunities.

[Chris]

The Best Aunt Evah would be knitting this for the nephliece: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/celestine-sox and preparing said nephliece for extradimensional travel. The Best Aunt Evah would then, instead of taking the nephliece on a Grand Tour of Europe (SO 1900), take said nephliece on a tour of the Book World or Middle Earth or Deep Space Nine or... all of the above.

[Janey]

Am caught between wishing for my own Best Aunt Ever and the one(s) I've had.
Providing the new mom with "time off" , with free baby-sitting, while clothing the nephlieceon in the aforementioned knitted apparel and providing many, many toys at Christmas and on birthdays. (Clothing - knitted or not - is not an appreciated Christmas present to a child.)

In the more distant future:
Take said nephlieceon summer vacations - on camping trips (which may or may not involve a tent).
Providing the nephlieceon with a car whenever they wanted to borrow one.

Keep wishing/praying/hoping for the good health of both the mother and the nephlieceon.
Janey

[Heather Joins The Round]

Two good aunts would drive 14 hours with two kids under three in the car to bring the new mother a crib and assorted gently used baby gear. The best aunt ever would then stay all night in the hospital with her sister, helping the baby latch on, holding the baby up while he nursed. My big sister totally made sure my little sister could nurse her baby. I'm one of the good aunts, but my big sister is the best!

[Nicole]

This is a very interesting question, and not an easy one. Here are a few things I've thought of:

As far as knitting goes, the Best Aunt Ever would knit a full-sized blanket that would last the nephliece's lifetime, not just a baby-sized one. The Best Aunt Ever would also knit clothes - good-looking, comfortable clothes - but, as Janey mentioned, these clothes would not be considered gifts for special occasions (at least until the nephliece is old enough to appreciate clothes as gifts).

A lot of what would make somebody the Best Aunt Ever depends on whether she intended to be the best for the nephliece or for the nephliece's parents. While it certainly wouldn't hurt to change diapers and such while the nephliece is a baby, the Best Aunt Ever (for a kid) would not be too much of a parental figure. I always especially appreciated the aunts who didn't treat me like one of their own kids, because ice cream before dinner or getting to stay up an hour past bedtime doesn't hurt a kid once in a while.

The Best Aunt Ever would have an extensive library of books suited to the nephliece's age and ability. She'd also know how to sing well.

The Best Aunt Ever would somehow (and I'm not clear on how; I know I'll never be the Best Aunt Ever) fix most of the world's problems so that her nephliece would grow up healthy and safe. But she wouldn't fix everything, because then what would be left for the nephliece to do?

As an older sibling, I have to mention that the Best Aunt Ever would not forget the older sibling. No matter how cute the baby is.

The Best Aunt Ever would always have time for her nephliece.