Oh, hai! It’s hard to do, friends, but I am going to have to tear myself away from watching kitteh youtube videos long enough to join Perry to give you our New Year’s Resoluzhuns for 2009.
Resoluzhun #1: Find new and even more annoying ways to wake up the humans. Howling, scratching our claws down the walls, and walking repeatedly across their chests – just not cutting it anymore. We have to step it up.
Resoluzhun #2: Grow an opposable thumb so we can open the pantry door whenever we want! We know that’s where all the good stuff is hidden.
Resoluzhun #3: Take more baths.
A kitteh can never be too clean. Especially with all of these dirty humans around touching you all the time. Ew.
Resoluzhun #4: Make it further than ten feet out the apartment door. Finally figure out where it is that the silly humans keep going!
Resoluzhun #5: Build an international network of kittehs – Phase 1 of the plan to bring down the veterinary industry. Our slogan?
Kittehs of the world, unite! We have nothing to lose but our cat carriers!
Resoluzhun #6: Actually catch one of the birdies that flies past the window. (We know we can do it!)
Resoluzhun #7: Develop a once-a-day catnip habit. The current “whenever the humans remember that there’s a catnip stash in the house” routine isn’t an addiction – it’s just a tease.
Resoluzhun #8: KILL THE TOY!
(We mean it this time.)
Resoluzhun #9: Get more lovin’. A kitteh can never get enough lovin’.
Resoluzhun #10: Stop the knitting. STOP. THE. KNITTING. Stupid human – you are supposed to pay attention to us!!
2008 has been a great year for us kittehs. But with these resoluzhuns, 2009 is going to be the greatest year.
Happy New Year, kittehs!
-Perry and Emily